What it means to me to stay home with our Mr. Cutes

For those of you that have asked me how I enjoy being a stay-at-home mom: I love it. I always thought I wanted to be a mom but in recent years I was afraid that I wouldn't be "fulfilled" if I stayed at home. Whoa...was I waaay off. I am fulfilled in ways I never imagined. Money is very tight for us right now but as I told someone the other night, I think we would live in a cardboard box if it meant I got to be in that box everyday with Emmitt - even if we had no money. Money is over-rated; I want to be able to look back at my life and know that when those brief and fleeting moments of firsts came and went, I was there to witness them.

Also, I have learned what a jealous person I can be! (the one negative that has come out of having a child, I guess) I don't want anyone else to have more time with my son on a daily basis than I do. Just thinking about leaving him with someone else everyday only to come home in enough time to feed him and put him to bed makes my heart ache. I think I would cry everyday that I left him in someone elses care - cry for me and for him that he wouldn't be given the same love and attention that I could give him.

If there was a way to tell my pre-Emmitt self how amazingly different a mother's love for her child is (and by that I mean how expansive, overwhelming, all-encompassing and of course unconditional) I don't think I would've understood even hearing it from myself. And only now do I know how much my parents love me because a child loves his/her parents the way that a child does - with adoration and trust - but when you become a parent I think you get a small glimpse into what God's love for us must be like.

Now that I've had a child, I in a way feel like my life has just begun! My eyes have been opened to what life really is about. Those of you that know me know that I say home doing laundry surrounded by mess (that I'm unwilling to clean when I feel Emmitt should have my full attention) and spend much of my day holding my 20 pound baby trying to put the little man down for naps but this is life - this is real, true love.

I am so grateful to Kerry - to have a husband that supports me in my choice to stay home because he realizes that my job is just as important as his and that it would be unfair to Emmitt to have it any other way.